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And a dick that was nine inches long…by six inches around. He was a total freak…the guys in gym class fucked with him all the time calling him donkey-boy and stupid shit. They were just jealous and he knew it…but still…being a scrawny, big-eyed, four-foot ten geek sucked. All the dick in the world wasn’t ever probably gonna get him laid. Girls didn’t even notice him most of the time…it was like he was invisible. Well except for Katy. He swore sometimes she had a freaking crush on him, the way she hound-dogged him all the time, especially since her and her mom moved in. Thankfully today she’d gone off to some stupid birthday party on the other side of town…the Dartez girl, he thought. Boy howdy…that little fat bitch’s momma had some titties. She was fat as fuck but man, her boobs were the size of his fucking head…maybe even bigger. Thinking about old lady Dartez just made his dick harder and he finally just decided he was gonna beat off before he took his shower. He’d emptied. I could feel myself reddening all over again. I’d really said those words—exactly those words. In vino veritas, I thought, casting a bitter glance at the empty bottle of wine on the coffee table. ‘And option two?’ There was a pause, a pause just long enough for me to realise that once again, I’d forgotten to put my brain into gear before opening my mouth. When Drew finally spoke, I could hear his barely-repressed laughter. ‘I think you know what option two is.’ Did I know? Or was he about to turn the whole thing into a ‘Ha ha, gotcha!’ moment? Because, after all, I knew what Drew could be like. I’d known him since I was seven. My brother’s best friend, he’d been a fixture of my life for pretty much as long as I could remember. I’d watched him grow up, captain the school football team and date a succession of pretty girls, do his exams and leave school. There’d been those few years when I’d barely seen him of course, when he’d been studying at Manchester University and then working.
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